Saturday 6 April 2013

BIRD ON A WIRE

80 mph, over a mile, 14000 under clear blue skies in Snowdonia today I became wonder woman for 55 seconds.   It took me about twenty minutes to get into the gear unlike Linda Carter who just spun round very quickly usually in a phone box and appeared all suited and booted like a red dominatrix sometimes with whip in hand.  I wore a large red all in one boiler suit, weighed and everyone's weight was written on their wrist. At least it wasn't my age.  If we were considered under weight, we were  weighted down  with what looked like iron bells on our backs although I'm told these are going to be replaced next week to funkier and more fitting weights.  I didn't care. As long as they got me across they could have strapped a fridge to me as long as I didn't get stuck half way.  One of the guys shot across so fast (120mph) that he literally back fired and ended up half way back along the wire, to be gamely rescued by Jane, all five foot three of her.  It took twenty minutes and you don't want to have to go through that either.  Another girl put her arms out bird-like and slowed herself down so had to be unceremoniously pulled in by holding onto an outstretched ladder. But these are all early days yet and just teething problems, the small group of journalists being the willing guinea pigs.

The zip wire (www.zipwire.co.uk) near Betws-Y-Coed, is the longest in the world (the one in South Africa at the moment doesn't work) so it is the longest in the world.  Still in its very early stages they hope to build a cafe at the top so people can have something to drink before they zoom down, although I don't think alcohol is a good idea or a full stomach for that matter.    It's not the going down that creates the nerves, as with sky diving, it's the waiting around and the watching others doing it. You will always want to be next.

The security procedures are reassuringly anal. They must have said 'are you ready to go' to the people waiting for me at the other end (they were specks on the horizon) about five times in my case because one of the radios didn't work so they tried new ones. It reminded me of that scene in Contact where Jodie Foster has the same issue before she entered some parallel universe.    I was wondering if half way down I would enter into some parallel universe and there would be a different life awaiting me on the other side  although I admit I do love this one.

After five, four, three, two one, I zoomed down head first - quickly picking up speed, 20, 30, 40, 50, 60, 70 80 and think 90mph.  I was told not to put my arms out so flew down determined to be streamlined as possible.    You practice on a baby zip before you go on big daddy or mummy or whatever nick name it's going to be called.   The baby makes you realise how you should lie in the harness and that you can trust it completely.   It also introduces you to the staff who are all local and specially recruited for their empathetic skills I was told.   I admit they were brilliant - calm, informed, like baby porridge - just right.

Half way down despite my bullet-like posture, I turned 90 degrees and continued to zoom down sideways. Don't know how I did it and the organizers don't know how I did it, but I did it, then magically self corrected myself, and didn't slow down and landed without needing to be pulled in, pulled back, slowed down, and held the hand that was offered me at the end by a very nice man called Nick Moriarty (wonderful name that) who designed the zip and other 'rope courses' around the world.  What an interesting job.    I didn't scream. I prayed a lot at the start.  For adults it costs £50 and for children £40.  It's worth it for adults, they should put the price down a little for children. And they charge less for the locals which is an excellent idea.

I then went Gorges walking which I thought was walking along Gorges through forests, spotting the few remaining baby lambs that have managed to survive the freezing conditions (there were lambs but so few and usually I am told there are thousands).   No.   Gorges walking is canyoning but backwards.  Instead of walking down waterfalls and rivers, you walk up waterfalls and rivers.   Going against the flow is as challenging literally as it is metaphorically.  Wearing wetsuits which leave nothing to the imagination I started walking up the river, with a guide called Vicky who was brilliant, gave clear concise instructions (e.g., if you don't lean forward there and instead lean backward Sarah you will roll backwards and fall onto the rocks).   There was a bit called Elephant's Bottom (nothing to do with me) which meant me and two others climbed up a rope on an almost vertical rock formation which had a waterfall flooding down it and then crawled on our hands and knees through a narrow opening at the top.   I'm very pleased I've done it, I would do it again but only if Vicky was there to tell me what to do.

I stayed at Craig-Y-Dderwen Riverside Hotel (www.snowdoniahotel.com), where the food was excellent, the views amazing and there was a wedding going on. The zip and gorges walking are great activities to do for a hen or stag party.  Sober.  And there's a company called Busybus which takes you around from the hotel and organizes the trips for you at a discounted rate. I'd do it again, but only if I didn't have to wait at the top of the wire and Vicky was there again to show me how to navigate the waterfalls.    Amazing weekend. Thank you.

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